Alzheimer’s is something that will make you feel entirely afraid to have. That is because it connotes a sense of loss despite living. It is where you lose the ability to do things the way you used to. It affects your thoughts, emotional stability, as well as memory. It is a condition that gets no cure, and you will have to endure losing everything eventually.
Imagine waking up in a room where you do not know where you are. Then there would be a greeting from a seemingly familiar and friendly face. You have to get up and follow whatever instructions she gives because she is all the help you can get. She will help you in the bathroom and help you brush your teeth. She will help you fix your hair while she is smiling at you. After changing, you will experience a tour inside your house. You will be careful in touching things because you don’t realize it is your house despite your experience living and spending decades in it. You pay attention to whatever you want and can do, and often think about “what ifs.”
For the entire day, you will survive it with complete supervision. You feel dependent. Because when someone is not around you, you won’t dare do anything. Not because you are afraid, but because you are unfamiliar and sometimes unable. You live with a caregiver, which can be someone you do not know or someone that is part of your life. There is always guidance and assistance everywhere. You can never complain about it. Sometimes, you even think of the whole setup as too much. But then again, you can’t do anything about it. Sometimes, you get to recognize one or two individuals who spend time with you. But in a split second, you will soon forget about everything that just happened at that particular moment. Then you will go back to asking questions you already asked a million times.
There are times that you will feel confused because you seem not to know anything at some point. You get emotionally unstable because you think you can do things on your own, but eventually, end up being incapable. You get frustrated because you feel like you do not entirely need anyone to tell you what to do. People will not listen to you when you say you can handle things on your own, and you get frustrated with that even more.
In addition to the damage, even if someone tells you how much they love you, you would not feel the connection. You will never get emotionally related to someone, even if that person tries her best to do everything for you. You will get empty and confused inside because, most of the time, someone in front of you is merely an individual that somehow means nothing. That is despite the fact that the person was once your whole life.
These scenarios may sound a bit sad and unfortunate, but that is the life of someone with Alzheimer’s disease.